Submitted by Bethanne on Mon, 03/16/2009 - 12:00am
This is going to be a quick post that I’ll add to later, as I’m late for a meeting (cue me going “AAAACK!” like Andy Samberg imitating the Cathy comic on Saturday Night Live).
Our Book of the Week is truly wonderful. Seal Woman by Solveig Eggerz from Ghost Road Press is the story of a young German woman whose World War II circumstances force her to start a new life. She answers an ad in the newspaper from Iceland, and winds up as the second wife of a man whose hard, lonely existence as a farmer is softened only by the presence of “the old woman,” who may or may not be his mother.
Eggerz, an Icelander whose knowledge of Germany comes from several years in which she lived in that country, has crafted a dreamy yet stark portrait of a human’s transition from one world to another. I truly engaged with this book and with Charlotte, and I believe many readers of this site will, too.
We’ve got ten copies of Seal Woman to give away to ten random winners from the first 30 who post and tell us about the toughest transition you’ve ever made. Was it from single person to spouse? From student to master? Unpublished writer to published author? Perhaps from woman to mother? Whatever your own transformation was, tell us below — and perhaps you’ll receive your own copy of Eggerz’s novel. Thanks, as always, for reading and commenting!
Authors mentioned in this post:
Books mentioned in this post:
The toughest transition I
The toughest transition I ever made was from student to a working professional. I felt like I was qualified to do absolutely nothing when I graduated from college, despite receiving a good education! I also had no idea how to act or what to do in an office environment, but luckily my common sense helped me there.
The toughest transition for
The toughest transition for me was moving from an inner-city school where toughness and gang behavior were the norms to a school where I was asked how many cashmere sweaters I had.
It had to be becoming a
It had to be becoming a mother. Your life changes entirely, not only in the sheer scope of your new responsibilities, but suddenly you are viewed through an entirely different filter by others, your husband, your parents, strangers, women friends without children, other mothers…
I was a Naval Reservist, but
I was a Naval Reservist, but had frequent opportunitiesover the years to watch active duty officers struggle over the opportunity to retire. After 20-odd years of being told what to wear, what social events to attend, how to keep their lawns and hair manicured to an appropriate length, where to live, etc., these brave gentlemen were stressed for years over the retirement decision, even when their spouses and friends thought it was a “no-brainer.”
Moving to Puerto Rico.
Moving to Puerto Rico. Speaking Spanish, eating arroz y habichuelas (rice and beans) every day, dealing with a culture where time didn’t matter too much and stray dogs roamed the streets. And the mosquitoes! Eventually I came to love it, and miss it still, but for a Southern California girl, those first few months were a bit rough.
Toughest transition - my
Toughest transition - my second adulthood! I can share the angst of many of the previous respondents. College co-ed to professional career woman…single to married leaving behind hometown, friends and family…working woman to stay-at-home Mom…mature woman re-entering the work force after the rise of computers…now what?
Ditto on the transition to
Ditto on the transition to motherhood. I just couldn’t get over the nonstopness of it — I remember thinking once that maybe that evening, after we’d gotten the baby to sleep, we could go out to a movie or something, and then I remembered.
Toughest transition . . .
Toughest transition . . . going on now . . . letting go of the possibility of motherhood. As a kid, I wanted seven to nine kids of my own, and have always had “baby magic” - I can calm any screaming infant in a minute or two. But circumstances conspired, and now I will not have any. Wouldn’t think it was a big one, no real change except possibility, but what an enormous possibility to have fade. . .
Being a mother and the 24/7
Being a mother and the 24/7 responsibility was daunting to me. A difficult and tough change since I waited 10 years to have children.
Toughest transition for me
Toughest transition for me was…
single to married spouse. I had to share my home, closets, life with another person who will never leave. Sometimes you just want your own space and quiet.
I agree with the first
I agree with the first poster–transitioning out of a cloistered intellectual life was quite the adjustment. No more quiet hours pondering the meaning in a book!
The other biggest transition for me, as someone who has been diabetic from early childhood, was the switch from insulin injections to the insulin pump. My life is a lot more flexible now, and I can do things I wouldn’t have been able to do before (and eat things I couldn’t eat before, too). That being said, the transition was VERY difficult, resulting in several hospitalizations as I learned how to manage the new delivery device.
I agree, Solveig’s book
I agree, Solveig’s book “Seal Woman” is fantastic! A tough transition for me, as a member of Solveig’s writing group, was watching her go from struggling wannabe with a promising draft to published author of a great book! Oh, it makes me gnash my teeth in jealousy. (And it’s hard to say “congratulations, Solveig” through a clenched mouth.) Wait until you read her NEXT book. That’s another winner… once it gets published.
My hardest transition was
My hardest transition was when I was a young woman I met someone and fell in love. But I was already married. Although the marriage was already in crisis (we were separated), my then husband had mental illness and I had to somehow remember that it was not my fault and I had to try and close this chapter of my life and not allow guilt or a misplaced sense of duty or obligation keep me headed on that destructive path. The new man I had met was very patient and waited over a year for me to move to his city where we were married a year later. We have been together 21 years now and although it has not always been perfect I try and keep my eye on the big picture. Life is never easy, and learning this as a young person has helped me try and stay focused so I dont lose sight of what is important.
I think the hardest transtion
I think the hardest transtion will be the next one - from someone who has loved being in the workforce (at least most of the time) to being “retired” - whatever that means. Maybe I’ll become a full-time book reader!
Toughest transition was going
Toughest transition was going from working at home part time back to the full time workforce. I quit when my youngest was born because my boss threw up a lot of obstacles for my return after maternity leave, but coming back full time was hard - even though I worked part time all the way through. Age bias was rampant - even in the government.
After 28 years of marriage, I
After 28 years of marriage, I am living on my own. It is so hard being responsible for everything from house maintenance to finances and working full time. I try to stay positive, but sometimes I feel totally overwhelmed.
The toughest transition for
The toughest transition for me was going from being a busy single mom to an empty nester.
Toughest for me was -
Toughest for me was - graduating from college at the age of 20 and having to get a job and support myself when that summer waned. Autumn came and I resented that I had to work. I finally got a job as a glorified typist in New York City. To get midtown, I entered the subway system at 96th on the West Side, while it was still dark out. I worked in a windowless office and went back ouside the building and down into the subway system after dark, or so it always seemed. That dreary benumbing existence was instrumental in pointing me towards graduate school life, working as a night attendant in a private mental hospital, after graduate school joining the Peace Corps and going to South India (this was in 1970). … Anything rather than a daytime menial office job in the windowless dark. I hope I win a copy of Solveig’s novel. It’s brave, compelling and lyrical.
Going from wage slavery to
Going from wage slavery to freelancer. Working at home alone, no commute, no set hours, no one looking over your shoulder–sounds like a dream? Requires concentration, discipline and one-track-mindedness I still haven’t developed, not to mention the perpetual need to look for work. Too much temptation from books, the Internet and my lovely bed! And after 5 years, I still don’t make enough to afford both health insurance and my rent. Think I’ll stick with it, though, ’cause it’s better than any of the jobs I’ve had.
My toughest transition would
My toughest transition would have to be going from being a married mom with two kids to a divorced mom with two kids. I would say my children paid the price and I feel bad about that every day. I had to start all over getting my house together in the end me and the kids are better people for what we went through.
Please include me in your giveaway.
Thanks
Debbie
I am twenty three years old
I am twenty three years old and teaching my first year in a high school music program. The job is a blessing, but has not been without growing pains to get to a happy point. Through it, or perhaps just simultaneously, I am changing from a child into an adult.
It is a jump from being responsible only for yourself to being responsible for 40-piece teenage orchestras. They will whine, they will not want to practice, they will not (for the most part) automatically hear the beauty in Mozart…but…they are children, and children do these things. I’m becoming better at cheerleading them through it, and also becoming better at not taking their complaints personally.
And at first I didn’t realize the tough times that many families and children go through. Not all my students have the support or opportunities I had when I was in high school, and even the ones who do often have difficult pressures around them. It has been a transition to learn about what kinds of lives exist outside my own.
As tough as it has been to get used to taking care of so many kids, what has been a more difficult transition in my experience as a teacher is dealing with competitive parents. This year I had a parent insult me through a few emails, which I can now deal with, via my “don’t take it personally, just try to solve the problem” mindset, but she insulted one of my other students, which shocked me and broke my heart.
And through all of these things, I’ve had to transition from a world where I can react freely- crying or cursing or kicking and screaming- to a world where I am expected to remain strong and keep going. Even though I’m still shaken and often heart-broken over the situations I observe and experience, I am getting better at being that strong person. And despite all the frustrations and tears, it’s worth it.
I thought the transition to
I thought the transition to retirement would be tough - but it’s been a joy. I feel like a cliche, I’m so busy. Looking back, the transition from married mom with a 6 year old to divorcee was the toughest. Back in the lat 1970’s divorce was not something that a good Catholic girl did. But it was way overdue. I was such a mess I literaly could not speak for nearly a week. But, after the initial first few months of adjusting to a vastly reduced paycheck, I realized that I finally had a life that was mine. It was the best move I ever made and I now have a wonderful husband and had a great career that I would never had had, had I not made that very scary transition.
My toughest transition would
My toughest transition would have to be retired
Retirement was (so far) my
Retirement was (so far) my toughest transition. I truly love work. I like having a goal, having a team with me to try to accomplish that goal, thinking up ways to help members of the team shine in their best skill so that each one contributes to the team’s success. Suddenly being on my own with no goal was truly deflating.
My toughest transition so far
My toughest transition so far has beenthe one in which I am currently engaged. I am evolving from being the parent of young children to the parent of emerging adolescents. When my children were younger I was comfortable making choices for them always with the goal of doing what I thought was best for them. As they emerge into their pre-teen and teen years, I realize I have to allow their developing self-concepts and ideas to become part of the process. I am realizing how much happens internally and the incredible influence other forces have on them. I am trying to learn how to respect their inner beings and the privacy of their thoughts and ideas, while still maintaining the role of parent and guide. It is a challenge unlike any other I have encountered in my 40+ years and for me one of the most critical because there is so much at stake.
Becoming a mother of twins
Becoming a mother of twins from being a normal, sane married woman. Two at once and no experience. They are 20 years old now and wonderful. We even had one more after them. But I remember days of talking to two two year olds and a new born all day and thingking I would forget how to speak in full sentences!
My toughest transition is
My toughest transition is from my mother’s daughter to her mother as she ages and begins to lose her memory. It’s hard to accept that you have to make decisions for and take care of the person who has always taken care of herself and you.
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